Basket of Figs:
I saw this tongue in cheek explaination of true worship over a Basket of Figs. This sort of relates to Joe Missionary's blog posting on confusing an agape love for God with using erotic terms to express love for God.
"Signs that there is true worship taking place in the church.
1. There is a good sound system.
2. The worship leader is really hot.
3. A lot of young people attend the church.
4. You can feel the love.
5. The music is really loud.
6. There are no organs.
7. People say things like, 'O yes.' 'uh, HUH' 'Yes, Jesus'
8. People are not looking down at a hymnbook; they are looking up at a screen.
9. People have their hands raised.
10. There are guitars.
11. People have their eyes closed.
12. Only a few words are sung, and these are sung over and over.
13. People roll their eyes a lot while they are doing it.
14. The worship team is really hot.
15. People roll their eyes while looking at the screen.
16. People clap their hands while they are doing it.
17. People say things like, 'O yes.' 'uh, HUH' 'Yes, Jesus' over and over.
18. Some people clap their hands AND have their hands raised.
19. You can feel the love.
20. There are a lot of women doing it.
21. There are people who roll their eyes while they have their eyes closed.
22. People stand and sway while they are doing it.
23. Many men seem embarrassed by it. They are there because their wives won't let them go anywhere else to church.
24. The worship team is very young and sexy.
25. You can feel the love."