How should we respond when someone asks us to pray that her dead mother will watch over her like a guardian angel?
How should we respond when someone asks us to pray that her dead mother will watch over her like a guardian angel?
The question has several components to it. Let’s deal with the emotional part first. This lady is likely missing her mother and is grieving. As Christians we are to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” (Rom 12:15 ESV) We share in the emotion of someone who is sad. Christian counselor Robert Kellemen in his book Soul Physicians describes soul care as sustaining and healing. An important part of caring for your spiritual friend is sensing your spiritual friend’s story of despair. One must truly weep with those who weep. To do so one must empathize and embrace the friend. If someone is suffering, we as Christian brothers and sisters enter into their suffering with them. An important part of community is bearing one another’s burdens. (Gal 6:2) So, listening with a trajectory of making sure the person is heard is an important part of this building of spiritual friendship and building community when this becomes a network of people caring for one another.
A way to share in this lady’s loss is to ask basic questions about her relationship with her mother.
Were you two close to each other?
How long ago did you mother pass away?
What ways has your mother cared for you?
What memories do you cherish when you think of your mother?
It is not unusual for people to seek solutions to resolve people’s grief which may be seen as a symptom that needs to be relieved or a problem to be solved. The grief of someone with loss may be the strongest connection with a loved one who has died. If the grief is gone, so is the strongest connection with the loved one who is gone. Unexplained sadness should be treated by a mental health professional. Sadness which is causing a disruption to basic functioning to care for self, family, or other responsibilities also should be treated by a mental health professional. As a spiritual friend you may need to give advice to seek care from a mental health professional, but you are not the mental health professional. Your function is to be a friend by listening, hearing, and ensuring that your spiritual friend knows you are empathizing. In other words, be with your friend.
The second half of this issue is addressing the Christian’s estate after we are dead. Popular culture such as the book The Littleist Angel by Charles Tazwell tell how a person may become an angel after death. The movie Its a Wonderful Life has a character Clarence who was a person and after his death became an angel who needed to earn his wings. These popular versions of what an angel is do not agree with the teachings of the Bible. The Scripture does discuss angels which protect children. “"See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.” (Matt 18:10 ESV) However, this does not imply one angel is assigned to one child, nor that this was a person in a previous life. Rather than being humans, angels are ministering spirits. “Are they not all ministering spirits sent out to serve for the sake of those who are to inherit salvation?” (Heb 1:14 ESV). Rather than being dead people who are saved by being transformed into angels, angles are created as ministering spirits to help people.
The Bible is God’s story to tell us about his covenant with us. There is a lot of detail. The Bible does not tell us many things; like what the names of the continents are, nor what the type of tires are best for your family vehicle. There is information in the Bible about angels, but that information is not a systematic treaties on angels. Those gaps of knowledge regarding angels fits the divine author’s intent. The focus is not on understanding a hidden world, but on the revelation of God’s plan of salvation. These gaps of knowledge regarding angels have been used by more than one person as a playground for the imagination. There is a cultural bent to use angels in literature, movies, painting and other narratives as imaginary beings, much like a fairy or troll. Cherubs as seen in art work as winged children. The Bible never describes them in this fashion. This use of the angels as imaginary beings may be unintentional by those who do it. It may also fit with certain ways people interpret the type of literature the Bible is. However, I would advocate that the parts of the Bible which speak of angels does not show imaginary beings. The Bible portrays these beings as real. Paul writes about these unseen realities in Colossians 1:16, “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities-all things were created through him and for him.” (Col 1:16 ESV) We may understand experientially the seen reality, but the Bible tells us of an unseen reality, a heavenly reality. As the Bible tells us about this unseen reality we are wise and well served to not state more than is said in Scripture. We should avoid myths, speculations and imaginary wondering about things not addressed. There is of course good and necessary deductions we can make from Scripture, but when something is unclear in Scripture we should not supply fanciful clarity. The Bible tells us about angels, but a deceased loved one will not become an angel.
The question has several components to it. Let’s deal with the emotional part first. This lady is likely missing her mother and is grieving. As Christians we are to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” (Rom 12:15 ESV) We share in the emotion of someone who is sad. Christian counselor Robert Kellemen in his book Soul Physicians describes soul care as sustaining and healing. An important part of caring for your spiritual friend is sensing your spiritual friend’s story of despair. One must truly weep with those who weep. To do so one must empathize and embrace the friend. If someone is suffering, we as Christian brothers and sisters enter into their suffering with them. An important part of community is bearing one another’s burdens. (Gal 6:2) So, listening with a trajectory of making sure the person is heard is an important part of this building of spiritual friendship and building community when this becomes a network of people caring for one another.
A way to share in this lady’s loss is to ask basic questions about her relationship with her mother.
Were you two close to each other?
How long ago did you mother pass away?
What ways has your mother cared for you?
What memories do you cherish when you think of your mother?
It is not unusual for people to seek solutions to resolve people’s grief which may be seen as a symptom that needs to be relieved or a problem to be solved. The grief of someone with loss may be the strongest connection with a loved one who has died. If the grief is gone, so is the strongest connection with the loved one who is gone. Unexplained sadness should be treated by a mental health professional. Sadness which is causing a disruption to basic functioning to care for self, family, or other responsibilities also should be treated by a mental health professional. As a spiritual friend you may need to give advice to seek care from a mental health professional, but you are not the mental health professional. Your function is to be a friend by listening, hearing, and ensuring that your spiritual friend knows you are empathizing. In other words, be with your friend.
The second half of this issue is addressing the Christian’s estate after we are dead. Popular culture such as the book The Littleist Angel by Charles Tazwell tell how a person may become an angel after death. The movie Its a Wonderful Life has a character Clarence who was a person and after his death became an angel who needed to earn his wings. These popular versions of what an angel is do not agree with the teachings of the Bible. The Scripture does discuss angels which protect children. “"See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.” (Matt 18:10 ESV) However, this does not imply one angel is assigned to one child, nor that this was a person in a previous life. Rather than being humans, angels are ministering spirits. “Are they not all ministering spirits sent out to serve for the sake of those who are to inherit salvation?” (Heb 1:14 ESV). Rather than being dead people who are saved by being transformed into angels, angles are created as ministering spirits to help people.
The Bible is God’s story to tell us about his covenant with us. There is a lot of detail. The Bible does not tell us many things; like what the names of the continents are, nor what the type of tires are best for your family vehicle. There is information in the Bible about angels, but that information is not a systematic treaties on angels. Those gaps of knowledge regarding angels fits the divine author’s intent. The focus is not on understanding a hidden world, but on the revelation of God’s plan of salvation. These gaps of knowledge regarding angels have been used by more than one person as a playground for the imagination. There is a cultural bent to use angels in literature, movies, painting and other narratives as imaginary beings, much like a fairy or troll. Cherubs as seen in art work as winged children. The Bible never describes them in this fashion. This use of the angels as imaginary beings may be unintentional by those who do it. It may also fit with certain ways people interpret the type of literature the Bible is. However, I would advocate that the parts of the Bible which speak of angels does not show imaginary beings. The Bible portrays these beings as real. Paul writes about these unseen realities in Colossians 1:16, “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities-all things were created through him and for him.” (Col 1:16 ESV) We may understand experientially the seen reality, but the Bible tells us of an unseen reality, a heavenly reality. As the Bible tells us about this unseen reality we are wise and well served to not state more than is said in Scripture. We should avoid myths, speculations and imaginary wondering about things not addressed. There is of course good and necessary deductions we can make from Scripture, but when something is unclear in Scripture we should not supply fanciful clarity. The Bible tells us about angels, but a deceased loved one will not become an angel.
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