Sunday, March 04, 2007

Mid-life Crisis

It is official. I'm having a mid-life crisis. I declared it to Tom, the friendly talkative co-worker whose work space I have invaded while my regular office is being refurbished. I feel sort of out of fashion. Having a mid-life crisis is so 1987. I think there was a mid-life crisis movie back in the 80's but I never watched it. The term mid-life crisis was coined in 1965 by Elliot Jaques but I don't think it became fashionable to have this sort of crisis until the 80s.

So what am I doing about it?

The big thing is I'm getting off the ruling body of our church called the Session. I have been way to busy to re-evaluate things in my own life. It is sort of like tying your shoe while still walking. So I'm getting some rest so I can reassess. When I came off the Session I had all sorts of strange feelings like depression, hurt and a feeling of loss. If staying on Session was making me hold in all that then I needed to come off a long time ago. I'm hesitant to write about such things because I'm sure some people will use such things against me. Regardless of how people use my weaknesses against me, I feel it is important to be transparent. A lack of transparency is one of the biggest obstacles to spiritual growth. Not being transparent with my faults would only serve to prolong my mid-life crisis or perhaps cause me to fail to reap the benefits of this season in my life.

I think I may need to cut out my Sunday School class. I feel I have obligations to carry them a while longer because I have started some new curriculum. I told the young men I would give them the opportunity to teach and use their spiritual gifts in this way.

I'm making sure that I get on my knees and pray every night before I get in bed. There is something about getting on my knees to pray that makes it more concentrated and serious. Perhaps this shows my lack of spirituality since I need a posture to guide my prayer life.

By the way, I hoping to get more of a perspective on my role as a husband and father and my calling in ministry. I do NOT plan on getting a car or some other worldly thing to compensate for a lack of true self-examination.
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